"...but do I have to?"

Let me paint you a picture...

A twelve-passenger van with out-of-state tags rolls into a church parking lot. Stair-step kids file out, all matching in homemade dresses and ties. They trail behind Mom and Dad to set up a display and stand to the side to greet strangers and answer the same questions they heard at the last church. Before the service starts, they all break out an instrument to play the special. Then they all file back into their pew and sit perfectly straight and still while parents give their testimonies and dad preaches. 

A perfect life and family?...

This is the picture most people (generally not in ministry) envision when you talk about a ministry family. Its accuracy is questionable... Nevertheless, it's the unspoken expectation for the children to fulfill it.  

I get it! It can be exhausting. 

Especially when you've done it for some amount of time without seeing fruit, it feels... well, pointless. When you sacrifice so much for something that isn't "your calling" and you're left feeling hurt and lonely... This is compounded by the pressure to look, act, and speak a certain way, whether or not your parents say anything about it. 

Maybe you're introverted and you feel drained "doing ministry" or you feel like you're missing out on a "normal" life. You just want to blend in, live a normal life, have normal friends, and have normal answers to normal questions... but all you can do is stick out. Extroverts, on the other hand, thrive off the human interaction. They want to build relationships but a tender heart can be wrenched away from new friends only so many times before they're afraid to trust again and the lack of deep relationships takes a toll. 

Or maybe you want to be popular... but how could the "good little ministry kid" be "cool?" Maybe you've been wounded in ministry warfare, and you've become jaded toward it. Why does God punish me and my family when we're doing everything to serve and glorify him? 

It's okay to feel this way! 

Despite popular belief, these feelings are very normal. I've felt all these things too. No, you didn't ask for this. You didn't choose to be in ministry. So why? Why should you have to face the difficulties that come with this lifestyle? 

So...do you have to?

My short answer... No. 

A lot of people may not like my answer but hear me out! If you're forcing yourself to do something that you dread, the likelihood of you enjoying it in adulthood is slim to none. You do not have to fulfill the picture-perfect image that people may have of your family. You don't have to play an instrument, sing, or match your parents/siblings (unless your parents ask you to) to glorify God! You can do that in a myriad of ways!

But... here's the thing: God knew the family He put you into. 

My friend, think about that! God knew the family He was putting you in! He knew before you were born that He would call your parents into ministry. He called not only your father but your mother and your entire family. He knows the plans He has for you. (Jeremiah 29:11) What he's bringing you through now, will also prepare you for your future. (Isaiah 55:8-11)

While you can choose what to do within your parent's ministry (music, cooking, tech, soul-winning, or nothing at all) you ARE in that family for a reason. The choice is yours. How will you utilize this time?

I didn't always enjoy ministry.

I specifically remember a time when my mindset was to just get through high school, go to college, and not look back. The thing is... I made myself miserable with my mindset. I could have enjoyed and learned so much, but I actively chose not to!

Looking back, my time growing up in the ministry prepared me to be a military wife and mama in ways I never would have dreamed! Utilize your time now to grow in as many ways as you can. This is precious time you can't get back.

Your story will prepare you for a future as unique as you are.