Loneliness in Ministry

I never thought it possible to be lonely in a crowd... until I was. 

I've never considered myself a "city girl," nor, have I ever particularly enjoyed large crowds. But I grew up in a large city in Northern Africa. I'm talking: it can take you 3 SOLID hours plus to get from one side to the other. I was surrounded by a sea of humanity, and yet... I was alone. 

To some extent, it goes back to last week's article talking about expectations. When you fear not meeting someone's expectations, you shut them out. 

I get it. It's a legitimate fear! 

I've struggled with the fear that I'd be the reason we didn't get support from a church, or that someone wouldn't follow Jesus. Or that someone would take advantage of me based on their assumptions of Americans they get from Hollywood.

You do need to protect yourself and your heart as much as you can. 

Just because you're the ministry kid doesn't give anyone the right to run over you. You are a precious Child of the King! Think about that. 

We are His children. We, the children, mess up. But we can go to Him again and again and He will always be waiting there to pick us up. As any GOOD Father, He wants to protect us. Sin, pain, loneliness... was not a part of His plan. His plan was for us to live in perfect Eden. 

The only person who knows your thoughts and feelings before you speak them is our Heavenly Father. It is so important in today's world, that if something makes you uncomfortable, speak out about it! 

"Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God." (Matthew 19:14; Mark 10:14; Luke 18:16) 

"but whoso shall offend one of these little ones which have believed in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the sea." (Matthew 18:6; Mark 9:42; Luke 17:2)

If possible, find a person you can confide in.

I know it can be scary to trust someone. And you don't have to, at least not immediately or completely. Let them earn your trust with time. Make sure they are trustworthy. If they gossip about someone else, the chances are, they'll gossip about you, too. So whatever you don't want them to put into the gossip circulation, keep out of your conversation.

Maybe, you're blessed enough to have a sibling or friend. My heart's prayer is that you may find community here through the forum. Someone with whom you feel you can share your heart, without fear of judgment. Find someone a little further ahead of you in this journey of serving the Lord. 

For me, it was my mom. I didn't realize just how close we got in the field until I left for college. Whether or not you have anyone though, turn to Jesus! 

The best cure for loneliness is developing an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. 

~ Anonymous 

It is so important to have someone with whom you can bear burdens! 

Jesus didn't intend for us to walk this journey alone. If there is truly no person you know who can bear your burdens with you, go to Jesus. He said:

"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

During my loneliest days, I spoke to Jesus the most. 

Jesus was there in the middle of the long, lonely nights as I knelt at my balcony window, pouring out my heart to Him. I remember one night specifically, sobbing to Him and feeling the Holy Spirit still my heart and comfort me more than any hug. (John 14:26-27)

The more I knew Him, the more I loved Him. The more I loved Him, the more I wanted to serve Him. The more I desired others to know Him, too! That was when I prayed over my friends who didn't know Him, for my family who was fighting this spiritual warfare with me, and for my now husband whom I didn't even know at the time. 

I wouldn't change a moment of it now, looking back. God knew how much that time on my knees would affect the rest of my life. 

Friend, remember that you are never alone... even in your imperfections. 

Accept the fact that you are not perfect. No one is. I know! Shocking, right? When people place that assumption on us, they're contradicting Scripture. Romans 3:10-20, 23 shows clearly that none of us are perfect. Christ's strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

No, we're not to use this imperfection as an excuse to sin, but rather use it as a lesson of humility. What an amazing God to use all our broken pieces!

As I sat in my brokenness at Jesus' feet all those years ago, He put people on my heart. As He brought them to mind, without knowing why, I interceded upon their behalf. Later, I realized that the time of my prayers coincided with very difficult challenges in those people's lives that brought them closer to Him!

Whether or not you have "your person" you can talk to, make sure to keep Jesus as the first person you run to with your burdens. 

Your Sister in Christ,

Julia

P.S.

Here are some verses for your own further study. Consider those in the Bible whom God set apart and how they too were alone.

• Hebrews 13:5

• Genesis 2:18

• Psalm 102:7

• Ecclesiastes 4:8,10,11

• Jeremiah 15:17

• Lamentation 3:28

• Matthew 14:23